Thursday, March 31, 2005

$^&%#&*($ #*u$u))_@*>>>>

AND SO IF IM A LONER AND A QUIET PERSON...I DIDN'T LIVE TO PRETEND I WANNA TALK A LOT..AND MINGLE WITH PEOPLE AND BE A HOSTESS ALL THE TIME!!! GEESH, BAKET KELANGAN HANAPAN AKO NG GANON. WANT ME TO SPECIFY?? NG ILANG KAMAG ANAK NA WALA NAMAN INATUPAG KUNDI CHUMIKA..EH DI NGA AKO GANON EH!!!! IM NOT RUDE, I GREET RELATIVES WHO CAME TO THE HOUSE BUT NOT LIKE, OI!! CHIKAHAN TAYO...BLAH BLAH BLAH...AND THEN THEY'RE GONNA COMMENT ON MY ATTITUDE...WHO HAS ATTITUDE?? I WOULD'NT KISS THEIR ASS AND PRETEND THAT IM THE TYPE OF PERSON THEY WANT ME TO BE...THIS IS ME!!! WHY THE HELL ARE THEY MAKING SO MUCH FUSS ABOUT ME BEING QUIET, BEING A LONER AND BEING A BENCHWARMER, OR WHATEVER YOU CALL THAT....AUTISTIC?MAYBE!!!! THEN THEY SHOULD LEARN TO DEAL WITH IT!!!! IM TIRED OF THOSE PEOPLE COMMENTING ON BEING WHO I AM... BAKA PAG AKO NAGKARON NG CHANCE TO FINALLY SPEAK ABOUT THEIR PERSONALITY, BAKA MAUBOS ANG ISANG ARAW.
OO IM BURNING WITH IRRITATION AND ANGER WRITING THIS...KITA NIYO YUNG ORAS?? UMAGANG UMAGA..YAN ANG ALMUSAL KO...MAKATANGGAP NG COMMENT ABOUT MY ATTITUDE--BEING A LONER, AND QUIET...THEN THEY SHOULD READ MY BLOG!!!!! AND KNOW THAT I HAVE SO MUCH INSIDE ME THAT I SPURTED OUT IN HERE!!!! OO KUNG NABABABASA LANG NILA...BUT I DONT CARE IF NOBODY READS THIS..THIS IS MY HAVEN..
YEAH, PEOPLE MAY BE QUIET...BUT DON'T UNDERESTIMATE THOSE PEOPLE..IM TELLING YOU...

Monday, March 21, 2005

who is dabinchi?

In high school, the only thing I know about Leonardo da Vinci is his
controversial "Mona Lisa" portrait...until a book titled "da vinci code"
spread through word of mouth. Right away,it caught my interest. I went
to a bookstore to look for one and ended up holding a hardbound copy
with illustrations of his works as I scanned the pages. I ended up
leaving the bookstore empty handed though. It was expensive.$35. I wanted to
have the paperback copy but still, it's expensive. I was thinking,
everyone else has already read the book except me...Everybody at friendster
puts it as their favorite book..and I can't even talk about it even
here in my blog though I'm telling you now that I was craving to have that
book but I still don't have enough money to buy it. It would save me
ten bucks though if I get a membership card for just a single payment of
$25.not bad coz i would be using that for a lifetime and save a lot on
books.
I thought by this time I'm already sharing some excerpts from the book
because it really is something worthwhile to talk about.."What's with
Monalisa's smile?" What subliminal messages are there in the "The Last
Supper" etc etc...I wish I could get that book as soon as possible. I
would spend my salary for a day just to buy that book! geeshh.. i just
don't want to think about it anymore..hehe.. I'll just keep on telling
myself, "it's worth it..."
anyone who can share anything about that book, just post a comment
here..I would love to hear from all of you who read that book--make me
drool over "da vinci code"!!!! =)

Friday, March 18, 2005

FROM BLOGGER TO WRITER...?=)

It's fun being a blogger but nothin could be better than being
into serious writing..Like for television...Yes, I'm not earning bucks
for writing as of now but I feel so fulfilled that I'm realizing my
dream little by little as I start being a volunteer scriptwriter for net25
US bureau. Back in the Philippines I tried to apply for my practicum in
Net25. I guess they just dont have room for me there..I didn't expect
that I would still be unexpectedly given the chance here in US. It's
cool because I'm just using email to pass my write up since the tv station
is based near San Francisco, if I'm not mistaken. It doesn't matter if
my script would just run for 2 minutes in air time. What matters to me
now is that my work is appreciated and I'm enjoying what I'm doing
since I consider this as a church duty too.
Now I realize my blog wasn't so much of a waste of time...at least I
gained confidence in writing through it though i started having my
low-tech journal (my logbook) long before I started this. I'm no big time
writer. It doesn't matter to me..Im still happy that I'm actually writing
for tv now..and I'm excited for my next assignment..wish me luck!!!

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

SNORE GALORE

cant write anything but you know what the moment i start hitting the
keys, i know something will come out of my mind..like i wanna share a
story on how i developed an attraction with this guy i see often at
church...he's so calm, quiet, composed..and you know what i liked most about
him?his color..yeah his color..fair brown...perfect...i seldom see guys
with that color and if ever i see one, their personality makes them
ugly...ok what am i talkin about...cut..i cant think again..ahhhh..doing
nothing at work makes me crazy..or add up to my craziness, i should
say..i didnt eat the whole day. no breakfast, i didnt take my 15 minute
break and talked to a cingular customer service rep instead..it sucks coz
my problem wasn't resolved at all. good thing the guy is so nice and so
now i havent taken any meal yet..even lunch..i dont know why im
starving myself today..ok maybe im just too sleepy and lazy to go out..but i
cant hold it for another hour...lucky me, mcdonald;'s is just
downstairss.uhmmmm i cant wait to taste chicken selects with your choice of
sauce.haaayyayayyy..this boredom is killing me!!!! the clock ticks so
slow...come on now..its 3:44. couple more minutes and im outta here..patience
mel, patience.. i got a little sleep last night coz my mommy snores too
loud!!! grrrr..i didnt get to sleep till 3am..who could beat that..and
yeah i cant sleep because i forgot to eat dinner..but then just before
my mom started to snore, i decided to take my dinner at 1:30 am..with
my cousin.it was the best dinner I have ever had..like my stomach cried
of joy!!! probably it did..but my brain is shouting at my mom coz she
kept on disturbing its nerves with her loud snores.. and at last its
already 4:50...they said time here in US flies so fast.how come im sitting
here writing for aobut 5 minutes now and it seems like forever.i wanna
go home..but before that, i wanna eat. and im warning you, a lot of
people become crazy because of starvation..another hour without food im
gonna collapse..i hope my brain holds still.ok im out...forget this
nonsense...

Monday, March 14, 2005

SULAT SESSION

the key to writing something is to write, not to think..and that's what im doing right now..i remember those times, wehn our teacher would tell us to write an essay about anything under the sun..that would be an infinite list of choices but then the moment we start looking at the paper and trying to think of what to write.. that's the moment we can't think of anything to write and our paper stays blank for a while...yeah im not thinkin right now im just writing and writing.well of course im also thinking but im not like really thinking. you know what i mean..i guess not..coz this is what you call free writing.. i also remember i passed an article about freewriting session during a staff meeting of our school newsletter. freewriting is actually just writing anything.as in anything just to fill out a page or so. its hard at first but then you'll realize who cares if you're just gonna put "im writing im writing im writing...and then you'll go i cant think of anything to write i cant think of anything to write but now im writing and writing and writing...who cares! thats why you call it freewriting..you're grammar doesn't matter..freewriting is a way to break that fear of filling up a page with words and in time you'll realized you did it..and you're starting to talk about a topic without realizing it.actually the reason why i got into this point is because im not doing anything else here in the office so i decided to have a freewriting session..at least my session improved..i kept on writing in this without putting of my hands..just continuously hitting the keyboard.nevermind if im saying nonsense things or if my grammar slips a lot..who cares. i told you this is part of a freewriting session..it just kills time but then it kills your fear of writing...in no time...voila look a filled up a page see??? you should try it..sometimes its fun...its like telling so much but not pushing your mind to think to much..everything else will just flow out of the mind freely...see..im done.

Friday, March 11, 2005

MIKEY'S REVENGE

Here's the question that got into me last night after listening to one of my friend's new rap music creations--Yeah, I agree with him, why is it hard to find someone special, someone for a serious relationship, inside the church..? Both sexes keep on looking for someone, or if not, being drawn into liking someone not inside the church..In case you dont understand what im talking about, Im talking about the members of the Church of Christ and fortunately I'm one of them..But I too, wasn't spared from experiencing the scenario my friend is talking about in his song..Is it really hard to find that guy/girl inside the church or is it just the intercession of a lot of factors that makes it hard for a guy to find his girl and a girl to find his guy inside the church.?Probably...Here's the irony-- its not hard to be attracted to someone we always see and meet at the church during worship services, meetings, choir practices, evangelical missions, and other religious activities but getting into the stage of being in a "serious" relationship is hard to establish..well of course this doesn't apply to everyone...I know a girl, who likes a choir member so much but he's taken already..so far as she knows. She always sees that guy at church but haven't got any chance to meet him or even be introduced to him. And even if they frequently cross paths, the fact remains that he is taken already...and she doesn't intend to ruin any relationships. so there she is...waiting, waiting and waiting for the guy God has prepared for her..yeah its true, love comes when you least expect it...So to my single brothers and sisters, we'll have our own time..the perfect time when God will grant our prayers--of having someone to share our life with forever. He/she may not be the one we once longed for and liked before but for sure it is the one God has prepared for us..

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Simple facts about mariposa:

Birthplace: Quezon City (ever since elementary ang pagkakalaam ko sa Manila ako pinanganak--hindi pala..yung tuwing tinatanong sa mga forms pag nagffill-out diba? College ko na lang nalaman na QC pala..at mula nun di na ko nagkamali sa pagsagot.
Paboritong gamit sa bahay: kama (tawag lage saken MASA-ndal tulog, pag nakikitang inaantok..)kahit san kase pde ako makatulog.minsan nako nakatulog sa banyo..pagkatapos ko umiyak ng matagal.pero di katulad ng cr na iniisip niyo..may wet and dry part ang cr namin. yun nga lang cr pa din yun..
Paboritong ulam: tocino (walang masarap na tocino kundi pampanga's best at lahat ng mga ibang tatak eh nasubukan ko na yata, pati yung mga home made na binebenta ng mga kaibigan ng nanay niyo natikman ko na yata...wala pa din tatalo sa pampanga's best)
Kinatatakutan: hindi multo, lindol (naalala ko nun may period sa buhay ko na gabi gabi hinihintay ko kung lilindol ulet at pag may umuga lang ng konti natatakot na ako at di makatulog)
paboritong music: alternative
paboritong kantahin este nakakanta sa cr: mga senti (lage ko nakakanta ng hindi sinasadya yung bakit ngayon ka lang..at yung isang wedding song sa church namin)
habit na di ko natanggal hanggang ngayon: nail biting, at magkutkot ng cuticles ng daliri ko. kahit dumudugo na sige pa din.hanggat may maaalis ako sa part na yun inaalis ko..highschool pa lang binalak ko na alisin yung ganong habit pero ayaw talaga maalis
natatagong kaweirdo-han at paranoia: dumating ang stage na takot na takot akong magkaron ng malalang sakit. sa tindi ng takot ko, may time na naisip ko baka may appendicitis ako..nagbasa ako ng medical book para alamin kung ano symptoms ng ganong saket at pano gagaling..ilang araw lumipas ibang sakit naman. kala ko magagaya ako sa schoolmate ko nung elementary na namatay dahil natalisod lang.sympre hindi on the spot..nagkaron siya ng fracture sa ankle, nabulok yung buto ng di niya nalaman, too late na ng ipadoktor..hanggang naging cancer..tuwing stretch ko kc paa ko lage may nagppop sa ankles..akala ko sakit na yun..naalala ko nilalagyan ko pa yun ng efficacent oil..at lage ako nagmmedyas..tuwing gabi.inakala ko din baka may sakit ako sa puso.pero totoo namang may sumasakit sa parteng yun ng dibdib ko. at inakala ko din na may tumor ako sa utak at sa sa excuse mo for the word (breast). ang weird talaga oo..sabe ko sa inyo hindi to nakakatawa. alam ko wala akong sakit maliban sa isa---paranoia. i was not medically examined na matindi ang paranoia ko pero i know i suffered from this..and it was not healthy to think all the time na may sakit ka and your doing stupid things about it, trying to cure it by yourself. gagaling ba cancer sa paglalagay ng efficacent oil? di lang ako naparanoid na may sakit ako kundi pati ang way ng pag-interpret ko sa actions ng tao. and i hate the feeling na akala ko pinagtatawanan ako at tinitingnan..i lost my self esteem dahil sa pagiging paranoid. i lost so much energy in life dahil dun. maybe that's the reason why most of the time, at first acquaintance aloof ako sa crowd..sa mga tao.mas gusto ko pa nag-iisa.nasa sulok. ayokong nakakakita ng: uod, bulate, at mga gumagapang na hayop..ayos lang ahas at sawa. mas maliliit mas ayoko.takot din ako sa: fly over..tuwing dadaan ang bus at pababa na..sumasakit ang tiyan ko..yung parang pakiramdam sa roller coaster. highschool ko na yata ng maovercome ang takot ko dun. pero sa buong buhay ko isang beses lang ako sumakay ng roller coaster, sa disneyland..yung hindi pa mataas. at kelan lng yun nangyari at di ko alam kung mauulit pa.. at ayoko din sumasakay sa elevator..lalo na sa mga ospital.tama na...
pag wala nako sa mundo..saka lang magkakaron ng saysay mga sinabe ko..
teka uwian na pala.
itutuloy...

SA MGA KAIBIGAN KO:


Kung may sasabihin kayong tatlong words para sa akin, ano yun?

Hihintayin ko kayo dito...

Monday, March 07, 2005

MISTERYO SA PARKING LOT

Ano nga ba ang nasa dako paroon...? regal shocker pala to. Araw-araw kinukwento sa akin ng isang tahimik na babae na kilalang kilala ko yung mga karanasan niya tuwing uuwi siya at dadaan sa parking lot malapit sa bahay nila. May misteryo daw bumabalot sa bawat pagkakataon na madadaan siya sa lugar na yun.. Di niya maintindihan baket paulet ulet na nangyayari.. Hindi horror 'to. Masaya siyang umuuwi pero sa bawat gabi daw dun siya napapaisip baket tuwing dadaan siya dun eh may nangyayaring kakaiba..Di niya alam kung napaparanoid lang siya o nag-aakala sa mga pangyayari.. Pero sa kabila noon, masaya siya...Magulo? Eto ang dahilan kung bakit siya masaya sa misteryo ng parking lot.. > > Una daw siyang mapadpad sa lugar na yun, may nakita siyang tao. Wala pa daw siyang kilala noon sa lugar na yun.. Di niya napigilan mapansin ang taong yun..Lalaki, kayumanggi, tahimik, pati sa mga kilos niya ay may misteryo...Di niya na pinansin sumunod ng mga pagkakataon.. Dumating ang araw, nakita niya ulet..Tuwing makikita niya, masaya siya...Gusto niyang makilala ang taong yun pero walang pagkakataon...Sa bawat pagkakataon naman daw na makikita niya ang taong yun, wala din nmng paraan para magkakilala sila..Pero dito nagsimula ang misteryo. tuwing uuwi daw siya makikita niya ang taong yun na nakasakay sa loob ng kotse. Nakatigil. Alam niyang madadaanan niya ang kotse ng taong yun pero pipiliin niyang di lingunin ang taong nasa loob ng kotse..Lalagpas siya sa parking lot.. At habang naglalakad siya, doon pa lang aandar ang kotse. At yun ang pagkakataong tatanawin niya habang papalayo ang sasakyan ng taong yun. Paulit ulit daw na nangyayari...Pero paulet ulet din ang pagkakataong di niya titingnan kung sino ang taong nasa loob ng sasakyan kahit na may kutob siya na yun din ang taong yun. Baket tuwing uuwi siya, maraming pagkakataon na ganon ang nangyayari..Di niya din maipaliwanag.. Pero masaya siya. sa misteryong nangyayari. Kung sana tama lahat ng naiisip niya--kung sana oo lahat ang sagot sa tanong niya--siya ba ang hinihintay ng taong yun tuwing uuwi siya, siya ba ang tinitingnan, siya ba ang sinusulyapan tuwing magkikita sila? Magiging masaya daw siya kung oo lahat ang sagot sa mga yun. Hanggang ngayon di niya alam ang sagot...Lilipas ang mga araw, hinihintay niya ang pagdaan niya sa parking lot para abangan kung naroon pa din ang misteryo..Wala siyang magawa para makilala ang taong yun...Isa ang kinatatakutan niya sa pagkakataong mapadaan uli siya sa parking lot--ang makita ang taong yun at ang girlfriend niya na magkasama...(ouch!)
> > wakas...

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

PLANETANG DRAMACHINE

Pre, gusto mo pa din bang pumunta sa planetang gustong gusto naten?.. Na
tayong dalawa lang ang nagkakaintindihan? Dadalhin mo ba gitara mo? O
magkakantahan na lang tayo buong araw buong magdamag hanggang sa mamuti
na buhok naten? Noon gusto kong gumawa ng sarili nating planeta..Hindi
katulad ng ibang planeta..Kakaiba. Maingay, masaya..madaming tugtugan.
Lage tayong nasa isang sulok noon nagsusulat, nagkukwentuhan,
nagkakantahan, nagmamamahalan..Humihinga ng maluwag at walang istorbo. Gusto ko
noon sa planetang 'to kasama ka. Malabo na yata mga plano naten.
Napuwing ako sa maliliit na batong pumasok sa mata ko. Di tuloy kita makita.
Nasan ka na ba? Pre, sinong kasama mo? Akala ko nandito ka lang sa tabi
ko para hipan mo tong masakit sa mata ko. Ayaw matanggal. Iba na pala
katabi ko. Hanggang sa pagmulat ko. Wala ka na pala. Pano na yung plano
nateng pumunta sa planetang napanaginipan naten?...Nakikita pa din kita
pero sinusundan a lang kita ng tingin..Ikaw, siya..Matagal na panahon
yun. Diyan ako sa tabi mo lang dati. Pre, bakit mo siya binibitawan? Di
naman ako sumusunod.. Sinusundan ko kayo ng tanaw..Mawawala din kayo
pagkalipas. Sino ng kasabay mo pag binitawan mo yung katabi mo? Pag
lilingon ka at lalakad pabalik, baka makita mo pa ko..Hahahawakan mo ba
kamay ko at di na uli bibitiwan? Sana..