5 bucks is not bad

if you're getting paid for ten minutes of work. :)

i forgot how i ended up getting this weird part time job but here's what's left on my memory. hehe. i think i was really looking for part time writing job and landed on craigslist. i know not a lot of people would swear by this site but i know some people who checked this site and got the best deals in their lives i even remember that guy who became famous for a week (just my estimate :) ) for actually getting a house just by trading off that started with a red paper clip. ok back to my real story. so i saw this ad and was hesitant at first. but i thought, it's not a difficult job to do especially that i won't have to leave the house to do it. i just have to copywrite/rewrite/revise/research and come up with an article/news release to be used by law firms' websites. what i meant with easy was, i have the internet in front of me to do the research. and everything has already been said before i even write about the topics given to me. so all i hve to do is revise and make sure i stick with the facts i get online and just mesh them altogether to create a brand new article, sort of. all the assignments would be about drug recalls and press releases to inform the public that a specific drug has been recalled.
it's not the most challenging writing stint i ever had to deal with. but getting paid for every 10 minutes I spent doing this is not bad at all. i won't be spending it on a venti coffee but sure will work as gas money.

so keep it coming on my inbox robert.

100 things i love about you

1. you're face including your 'atsaka' that little hair you have below your lower lip.

2. when you say yes please and no please..especially when i tickle you.

3. you love my pouch (cheeks)

4. you call me names (cute and funny names) :)

5.

am i even good enough...

people all have something they're good at. be it in art, academics, singing, dancing, just being darn pretty etc etc. when i ask myself the question "what am i good at?" i will always end up being lost thinking hard what i have done something over and over and judging them as perfectly executed. and finally, at the back of my mind, nada. though self destructing it may sound, that's the truth. i have lived a mediocre type of life, and that this has totally evolved around what i even do.

when i was a little, i thought i'll be a great newscaster. i would read newspapers out loud in front of the mirror and be proud of myself that i read english language better than everyone else in school, maybe even than my english teacher. but i never grew up proud and boastful. that's the irony of it. sometimes i look at the mirror and see a different side of me--the side that i picture will definitely be someone big someday. maybe a newscaster or a writer. but the side of me that is shy and timid, went overboard and i decided, facing people is not my thing but maybe being behind the stories written is what i'll be good at. so i graduated with a degree in journalism. ( pardon for my irregular grammar and punctuations, this is unedited). and i thought i did good being conferred third highest honors in the whole university. but, i never fulfilled the dream i dreamed of when i was a little. is that good enough?

really, what motived me to take the course was when i got the biggest award i achieved in writing--the day Foundation for Worldwide People Power Movement led by former president cory aquino's son awarded my essay for 3rd best in national level. Whoever reads this, i apologize for the raving.

But boasting is not the point of my thoughts. what i really am concerned about is the question i keep asking myself "am i good enough?." and all i can say is, i did good at some point but never better, never the best.. and at some point too, some important people in my life make me question myself more if i'm even good enough being who i am and on what i do because i feel they don't believe in me. i hope i'm wrong...i know that i can never please everybody and i know living in mediocrity has some serious consequences. truth is, i'm not dumb, but never loved discovery and history channel--i learned from my grandma about old life, church, about the bible, school, about all other stuff, and my parents about love and compassion; i can write but never slept with a thesaurus in my hand or saw my name even on the cheapest tabloid in manila; i can shoot the camera, but never landed even mug shot in a magazine, i can do what i love doing, but will forever have to say "sorry, it's the best i got.."

Nakakatuwa kapag sobrang saya mo na dahil meron kang inspirasyon sa buhay. sabihin na natin kapag meron kang boyfriend o girlfriend. nandyan lagi ang kilig, ang ngiti na biglaan mo na lang nahahalata sa sarili o ng ibang tao. minsan mas masarap pa mag-imagine na kasama mo ang taong napakahalaga sayo kesa kumain kahit na paborito mo ang ulam na niluto ng nanay mo. lagi ka lang masaya. ganon. lagi mo gusto pagtugmain ang schedules para lang magkasama kayo kahit na sobrang hectic sa pag-aaral, sa work, sa church. sige pa rin sa pagtawag sa cell phone at pagtext kahit inuutusan na ng nanay o tatay o kahit pa nga habang nagddrive talagang walang makakapigil sa atensyon na gusto mong ibigay. in love eh.

pag dumadating na ang araw na nag-aaway na kayo dahil sa kung anu anong maliliit na dahilan, lalo lang kayo tumitibay pagkatapos. tama? kasi lalo mo na nakikilala yung taong mahal mo. kung gaano ba ang tolerance niya sa selos, kung gaano katagal bago siya mapikon sa pang aasar mo, o kung gaano sya katagal nakakapaghintay sa di mo pagtawag o pagtext bago siya una magalit sayo at magtext bakit di ka nagpaparamdam. minsan parang aso't pusa, di magkasundo sa kahit ano dahil parehong pinipilit ang gusto na ang bottom line ang gusto niyo lang talaga magkita lage o namimiss niyo lang ang isa't isa. bottom line--kahit nag aaway kayo, mas matindi pa din pagmamahal niyo sa isa't isa. kasi nga in love...


pero sa kagaya kong di na teenager may mas mahalagang ibig sabihin saken ang pagbboyfriend...haha... ibig sabihin nito ay seryoso na ko at gusto ko ng mag-asawa. (nonsense)


ahhh.. don't pay attention to this crap.hehe